Has menopause killed your sex drive? Well, you’re not alone! Tune in and discover how you can reclaim your sexuality after 50! Hi and thanks again for tuning into Hi and thanks again for tuning in to 2nd Act TV.
We have a special treat for you today.
I’m so happy to welcome Stacy Berkheimer back to the program.
Stacey, thank you for joining us.
Thank you for having me, so excited to be here Stacey is a former guest on 2nd Act TV, we’ve had lots of fun with Stacey, and she’s the national director for Pure Romance, the company that you know among many other things strives to educate women about their sexual health and just improve women’s lives.
So Stacey, as you know, on 2nd Act we talk to the 50-plus the menopausal group of women who, you know we have a lot of issues at this time, one of which is that we don’t enjoy sex, or at least a lot of us bring a lot of issues to the bedroom, and we kind of want to discuss what you hear in the field and how you counsel and help women rediscover sensuality after 50.
So excited, this topic to me is so important.
It’s always so amazing to me that we still are talking, we still don’t have those open conversations to talk about the different issues, situations that we have, and I think society has never made sex very easy for us period, right? So it’s always been something very shameful and if you enjoyed it, you know there are names that they would call us.
But as we grow older our bodies change and society has treated it, even doctors treat it like, well that’s just part of aging for women.
You know the vaginal dryness, the inability to have orgasms.
But I do believe with the right education you know we can have longevity with our vaginas and our sex lives for a really long time! So I hope to hope to open some minds today.
That’s exactly what we want to do, we want to dispel that myth that your sex life you know goes down the tube, so to speak after 50.
And that is totally unnecessary.
So what you know what what is the first step, I know that in Patty’s book, I was kind of perusing it, and she said that really, you have to get back in touch with yourself.
Tell us about that.
I do believe that for most women especially women that are you know coming up on their fifties, over 50, we really society has never allowed us to explore and enjoy.
And so I believe that getting in touch with yourself, not relying on a partner to tell you what feels good is the first step.
And that’s you know and that’s education even just understanding your body.
What is your clitoris? You know, what is a vulva? What is a vagina? The questions I get from from grown women that haven’t even really looked at their body parts is amazing to me.
So I do believe that the first step is getting in touch.
It’s ok, it’s yours right? It’s supposed to feel good! And so take some time to explore yourself.
Really what were what we’re talking about you know quite frankly is giving yourself permission to masturbate.
Masturbate, explore, it is not a shameful thing.
How do you, how do you know what feels good to you? Vibration doesn’t necessarily have to be hiding in a closet.
Vibration brings healthy blood flow to the sex organs.
So it helps bring those nerve endings closer so you can you can tell what feels good to you.
And one of the things that kills your sex life is painful sex, I mean if that’s what you’re experiencing, especially in a long-term marriage, or if you get back out after long-term marriage, or after a long time not having sex.
How do you advise women, I know, I know I went through that stage, were utilizing lubricant, it was almost something you wanted to hide, because it meant that there is something wrong with you, do you, do other women feel like that? Absolutely! Even a lot of partners are intimidated by lubrication, so I think the first the first thing is understanding.
But I think it’s it’s almost like vibrator usage, right we, for so long it was so shameful if you had a vibrator.
It’s just something that you just hid and did, right? The same thing is with lubrication, a lot of people think that if you’re not naturally getting wet then there’s something wrong with you.
Education, education is the first step, there is nothing wrong with you! Your body is changing and this lubrication is going to make things more comfortable for you.
Once you can relax, if you think about it, if you know it’s going to hurt when you’re having penetration the first thing your body does is it tenses up and it actually makes it even more uncomfortable.
So of course you’re going to cringe every time you think about this this intimate moment with your partner.
A lot of your lubrications now though are non scented.
You know again like I said it’s a moisturizer for the vaginal walls, you you don’t even really realize it’s in there.
I’m not here to tell people, I’m not here to tell people what exactly, you know, to lie but it if it’s if it’s uncomfortable for you the great thing is a lot of lubrication you don’t even know that you’re applying.
But having an honest conversation, a lot of men don’t understand what a woman’s body goes through.
Having a conversation sometimes, and just explaining what this lubrication is going to do for her and him is is the first step! That’s that’s really great input, great advice Stacey.
And I want to keep you over for another segment where we will specifically talk about the difference in lubricants and how much fun they can actually be! So will you stay over for another segment? I would love to! You know, you don’t go down a waterslide without water, right? So lubrication is so important! OK, we’ll see you in a minute.
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